Saturday, April 16, 2011


i'm dizzy again. i loved today. nothing exciting happened, but i loved the way i felt. i wore my purple coat and new stockings and i sat in the church hall at lunchtime. a strange man in an eccentric green and yellow sweater sat down and lectured me. when his phone rang, he got up and i closed my eyes and wished to be somewhere else.

when i opened my eyes you were there.

i love the reality of you. it's when i don't see you for a while and i sit in my room and think about you, that's when i feel sad. i don't like the memory of you and i don't like the idea of seeing you, but when you're there i am happy.

i tell you i can't stand miso soup and that i hate the beach. i try and make you fall out of love with me.

we go round and round in circles. i love you. you love me not. you love me. i love you not.

i don't know how i want the story to end.