Tuesday, September 28, 2010


mother buys me a book on how to journal and two brand new journals. the cleanness of their pages scares me. she comes and sits on my bed.

"it's time to get better," she says.

i say, "i wish".

not sarcastically. i just say it. but even now as i write this, i know it was a lie. i don't wish to be better. not at all.

what i wish is that i could wish to be better.


  1. You can always get better.
    It might not happen today or tomorrow but it will happen eventually. You are too strong a person to let a disease control you.
    I know you can do what you desire and conquer anything.

  2. I know what you mean. I wish i wanted to be healthy, to like myself, to blah blah blah. But i just don't.

    Journalling is great though hun (: though i don't like the fact people can read them easily :l

  3. Ethereal - I hope so. I'm hanging on for the day when it does happen. :)

    Patience - you're right about journalling. I have kept many many journals over the years, but it does worry me that people can read them so easily. Never mind, the worst they could is lock me up in on a psych ward forever... :)

  4. I wish that too.

    I love new journals. I'm always afraid to write in them because I don't want to make a mess of the nice clean pages. I hope you can write in yours. ;)

  5. WinterGirl: You will be able to recover. :D
    Someday might come sooner than you think. ^.^

  6. Hang in there, babe. You can and will get better!