house of cards

sitting in class today i watch the rain drip down the window panes, slide like silent tears towards the ground three storeys down. my lecturer drones on about the rose theory. it sounds pretty, but it's not. it's physics in the guise of floristry.

i take myself away. in my world it is calm and the sunshine tickles my bare toes and makes me laugh. the sky is an endless blue, an upended bowl above me and there i am, lying on my back in the midst of the prairie grass. i'm invisible to everyone except those who are looking.

g snaps me out of my trance. "earth to h."

later, in my boarding house, i sit on my bed. i don't like this place. everywhere i look reminds me of last year - the year i was sick. at dinner i cut my food into tiny pieces - not because i'm afraid, but because it's habit in this place.

now i sit on my bed and wrap myself in the mink blanket. house of memories. house of cards. i wish you would come and knock it down.

i take myself back to my dream world and lose myself in my version of reality.