rewind

i have two more days left of being 20.

all i wanted for my birthday was for him to kiss me. just once. just so that i knew for sure that he loved me, that i was worth being loved.

now he won't. now my world is falling apart again. now i can't sleep or eat or even think. they say it's a broken heart, but if that's true then why do i hurt everywhere?

i have a party to host, people to smile at, a face to be put on. but i know that i will stand there the whole evening, talking and laughing, but at the same time watching him from out of the corner of my eye and wishing i could rewind the past few weeks. wishing that he would think of me, just once and remember that he used to loved me.

wishing that he could be mine again.

unhappy birthday to me.