Wednesday, December 22, 2010

the future

the evening is dizzy, my legs cramp from my shoes and my dress makes it hard to breathe. i try to keep smiling. weddings are happy times. i am not a scrooge.

before the reception i sit and watch him playing pool. i'm dying inside. i'm jealous of the beautiful bride and her husband - the knight in white armor. i want to fast forward to the time when we can be together.

when i get home i think of sylvia plath.

"i took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. i am. i am. i am."

i get in bed and close my eyes. i listen to my fragile heart ticking over once, twice, three times.

i am not.

but i will be.

we will be.

1 comment:

  1. Love and hope are simultaneous.
    When you love someone, you never let them go, and they in turn never stop to care about you.
    I wish you the best of luck with your future knight.