betrayal

it's been a year now, slightly more maybe. i miss my old life, the old me, the one people loved. i miss a and c and the happy days. she texted me today - telling me that everything was all my fault. i was hurt because she hasn't been there for me but she said that wasn't her problem because i never told her that i needed a friend.

you shouldn't have to tell real friends that.

i start to wonder if i'm the reason i don't have many friends now. t says no - it's because i trust people and then they let me down and that makes me scared to trust again. he loves me and i have to believe that he won't hurt me. i cross my fingers and pray and pray and pray.

i am a frightened bird, sheltered in his palms. he makes me safe. i never want to fly away.

rain, again

is this what it is always going to be like? things coming together and falling apart over and over. broken glass, glued back together, only to be shattered again. i trust too easily, love too quickly, give parts of myself to people i'm not sure of.

i was much better off before i got wound up in you.