Saturday, May 14, 2011

tidal wave

sitting in church i can feel it coming. the darkness that is. it ebbs and flows. it crashes over me last saturday night - i watch 3 movies and stay up until 2 in the morning. i can't sleep because of crying too much. over the next few days i cry so much my whole body hurts. amanda worries over my red eyes and puffy face. i pass it off as allergies. she believes me.

then as suddenly as the darkness came, it leaves again. i feel like a baby, newborn, blinking in the bright sunlight of the new world.

now i can feel the tsunami building again. building. building. building. it will crash later today.

i wish i could stop it.

now sitting here in church i miss you. i want you so much i hurt all over. just one glimpse. maybe you could break the spell.

if only i was brave enough to ask you to try.


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  2. This is beautiful, and it makes me sad.
    You are beautiful and you don't serve to feel this way, to cry that long.
    Please stay safe. xx

  3. Smile, I'm sure everything will get better! <3
    A girl doesn't deserve to cry so much, there must be something that is worth being happy for? Find it and and cling to it, it's much healthier to be happy and keep a positive mind, even if it is hard!