Thursday, August 19, 2010


i often wonder if, in a few years time, i will be proud of the life i have lived.

will i open the box underneath my bed one day and be reminded of the suicide notes, still in their identical white envelopes, date printed neatly in the top right hand corner.

will i be proud of that in 10 years, 5 years, a years time? will i remember that it hurt?

or should i just burn them now? hope my memory is written in sand and not on stone. hope the river washes away the things i'd rather left unfelt.


  1. You should keep them so in 5, 10 years when you are happy and you look back to those cloudy years you will remember who you are now and how those years made you who you are in the future. Its a tricky line to walk, unwilling to remember, but not allowed to forget.

  2. That's very true... the bad times help make us into the people we are. I like what you said - "unwilling to remember, but not allowed to forget". Very true. I don't want to remember the heartbreak now, but maybe one day it will help me realise just how grateful for how much better things are then.

  3. It would be so much easier to forget tough wouldn't it? So tempting to be able to fall behind the clear glass and burr that past you don't want to remember:) By the way you are amazing writer, you make people keep coming back because your posts are like puzzles and you have to decipher them to find the rue meaning, very refreshing!

  4. It would definitely be much easier to forget. But in the long run I think I'll be glad that I still remember. :)
    And thank you - you're really sweet. I guess my posts are a bit like puzzles. I write metaphors for what happened and then they help me remember other things. I guess to other people I might not always make sense, but in my mind my writing makes sense. :)

  5. Aha thanks:) sweet is good. And that always happens to me but not when I'm writing, I'll be talking to my friends and then go off on some random tangent that only makes sense in my mind...sort of like now:)

  6. I understand. Maybe it takes a writer to know a writer. :)