Sunday, October 17, 2010


i am scared to let go. my mother says that she is proud of me for the steps that i am taking to overcome my issues. she says i'm brave.

i'm not though. i have been to an incredibly lonely, dark and frightening place. my identity is completely wrapped up in the darkness and i can't let it go because it's who i am.

without it i am nothing. i guess i would still be me, but a different version. i have been here before, in this place, on the edge of this cliff. i have recreated myself and come out a different person. i don't want to do it again. i'm afraid that this time there will be nothing left.

i want the light. i want to be warm, to be well, but i feel i have something to prove. i can't turn around until i've reached the end of the path.

i'm confused.

1 comment:

  1. You will always be you, eating disorder or not.
    You are a wonderful person who deserves to be happy, and free from horrible things.
    You never know what will happen until you try to overcome it.
    Remember, people will always be there to support you, no matter what you choose.